Deeper Insights: Resources to Help You Release The Need To Be Right
Throughout September 2019, DRIVEN has been analyzing the counterproductive temptation many of us have to be right all the time, and the impacts our actions have on the psychology of the workplace. For some, this temptation has grown into an addiction, and is one of the greatest stressors people face in their careers. We published three articles and delivered an OfficeHours webinar exploring the challenges faced by those of us who always need to win the argument, and by those who find ourselves dealing with colleagues who operate this way. We therein offered examples and solutions so motivated professionals like you can challenge these norms and regain your productivity. For instance, in my recent article Taming The Victor: How To Respond When The Other Person Needs To Be Right, I demonstrated how the know-it-all is a bully who’s playing a game with their reports and other colleagues, and I proposed a workable solution for when you become their next victim. I hope you’ve discovered this and other DRIVEN articles on the topic and have re-leased your life and career using your newfound knowledge.
As with each of DRIVEN’s topics, there are exceptional resources for further reading and listening. These include related DRIVEN articles and external resources like books, podcasts and video presentations. Here’s the September roundup of our favorite links related to releasing your need to be right, some of which will link you to additional resources therein. Explore them, and then reach out to us. We’d love to hear what resonates with you in these areas!
Conversational Intelligence by Judith E. Glaser: Did you know that nine out of ten conversations miss their mark? If you’re interested in having more of your conversations hit the mark, we have the book for you. Written to show you how to “get to the next level of greatness” in your life and career, Conversational Intelligence® is not just another self-help flavor of the moment. It’s become DRIVEN’s “bible”, and has informed my coaching techniques more than any other single publication!
Poker Woman by Ellen Leikind: Ellen started the NYC-based Poker Divas to help professional women develop leadership and negotiation skills through the art of playing poker to win. I’ve personally attended several sessions and it has refined my skills significantly. Her book lays it all out for you, and is a must-read for any professional who finds herself drowned out by colleagues who are addicted to being right.
Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Switzler, Grenny & McMillan: Subtitled “Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High”, this book gives some of my favorite examples of how to navigate difficult conversations.
Blogs & Media:
Your Brain is Hooked on Being Right: Judith Glaser gave us a concise blog article in the Harvard Business Review that gets you to the heart of the addiction to being right, and let’s you start a conversation with yourself about transcending this phenomenon.
The Bully Boss: On Judith Glaser’s resourceful website CreatingWe.com, there are videos of her various TV appearances discussing the characteristics of bully bosses and what you can do about it.
Why Being Right is So Addictive: Robert Solley takes you through a quick evolutionary hypothesis about the drive to be right in this article from Mission.org. And it comes with a challenge: If you don’t think it’s a true addiction, try going for a week, or even a day, without it. Try spending a day not criticizing someone else, having the last word, smirking, judging or prejudging, or in any other way typecasting others.
Top Ten Tips For Overcoming Bullying: If you’re being bullied at work by a colleague or boss who’s addicted to being right, explore these useful tips from DitchTheLabel.org.
Active Listening— Believing Is Not Knowing: The opposite of the addiction to being right is Active Listening. This is listening to connect and understand rather waiting to speak, or worse, waiting to pounce on the speaker. It can only lead you to a better solution than the one you’re addicted to. Read about it in this article on DRIVEN’s blog, and you’ll even learn about Judith Glaser’s technique of Double-Clicking.
The Most Rewarding Journey: The first step to any enhanced EQ and personal growth is becoming Self-Aware. Until you can look at yourself with some perspective, you won’t have a clear picture of how you respond or react to others! The 2-month journey in this honest assessment of self begins in this important DRIVEN article.
When Someone Needs Intervention: In approaching a colleague one-on-one concerning their assertive addiction to being right, there’s a useful technique that was shown to me by professional coach Deborah Howard: The A.I.R. Method, which is applicable to the formal employee review. Read this DRIVEN article, which takes you through the simple and effective process.
Meet Sandy Galef: I recently wrote about how local politician and friend Sandy Galef masterfully uses her diplomacy skills to defuse or disarm individuals who have their guards up in political discussions and get them to see the other side of the argument. Why not check out her personal/professional website and find out a little bit more about this inspiring woman?
If you enjoy what you’re reading and are considering living life more fully, schedule a complimentary consultative session with DRIVEN HERE.