Tame the Shame!
Hi There,
Have you ever gotten nauseous while composing a LinkedIn post? I did while putting one together about DRIVEN’s February blog article! I’d written about rebranding my body image and found myself wanting to assume an ostrich’s position: head in dirt.
Considering how I struggled with both brain and heart while teasing out the theme of my Word of the Year in February’s blog article (Reflection), I recognized that my challenge wasn’t wrestling with the ideas and commitment to reframe my relationship with my body. It was instead finding the need to tame the shame of what I planned to share.
My growth goal for February is to release and reframe a story about the obese me that no longer serves. Ironically, due to an intentional, if not totally natural application of self-compassion, my efforts acted as a gateway to feeling intense compassion for others. That connection, in turn, has furthered my rebranding opportunity.
For context, I’ve historically exhibited genuine empathy for others. (Just ask my brother about my crying during Hallmark commercials when I was younger!) But thanks to fMRI insights, we know there’s a difference between empathy and compassion. The latter has been described as that extra quality of caring and concern, nudging us to action in order to help.
As meditation practitioner Tara Brach puts it, compassion is empathy plus a “quivering of the heart”. And this reverberation was genuinely realized after I was able to nourish myself with self-compassion. Once I allowed myself to feel what I’d bottled up for so long about myself, I felt connected to others.
Another dimension of this sentiment is part of psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff’s definition of compassion, which is “recognizing and honoring one’s humanity”. I viscerally accept that we all suffer, have flaws and make mistakes. And recognizing our humanity further helps us to remember that we are not alone.
Now that I’ve been ‘unfrozen’ and feel connected, I’ve begun to experience compassion and camaraderie toward others facing their demons about body image. Author Glennon Doyle courageously shares her own progress and challenges regarding her diagnosis of Anorexia on her podcast We Can Do Hard Things. Janeane Garofalo famously said, “You know, for women, body image is the Number One thought in life from birth to death.” She may be a comedian, but it’s no joking matter.
Since I’ve committed to my body image rebrand, every one of the network colleagues I mention this to relates fully. And if you do, too, I invite you to rebrand your body image!
Besides considering the steps I’ve taken, check out these body love affirmations, and feel the solace of our common humanity.
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524