If You Appreciate Someone, TELL THEM!
Hi There,
I was emailed by an admired network colleague last week. This was doubly delightful: Besides smiling in response to seeing Janet’s name in my inbox, my last contact with this wise woman was pre-Covid!
Janet was weighing in about how she enjoyed the previous Tuesday’s DRIVEN message. Yippee!!!!! I may be a recovering restauranteur, but will forever be a service person at heart. You see, Janet inadvertently tapped into one of my love languages, which is “words of affirmation”!
As I marinated on my response to her outreach, I realized that I forget to consider the impact these weekly quips may have on others. Although I send these messages blindly through the ether of the internet, there are living, breathing humans reading these pieces of my heart, soul and brain. That got me thinking about the ripple effect. We all touch people without even knowing it!
Then I chuckled, thinking about an old restauranteur’s general principle, which probably has evolved a bit in this era of online reviews: If someone has a good experience at your restaurant, they will tell one person about it. But if someone has a bad experience, they’ll tell 7.
By extension, this unexpected validation reminds me that I’m inspiring others. While I’m touched by all who respond (Please, keep your comments coming!), hearing from someone I didn’t realize was even on our mailing list was a thrill and an opportunity to widen my lens and consider who’s reading.
And THAT reminded me of the Drew Dudley TED Talk called Everyday Leadership. If you haven’t seen it, stop right now and watch 6 minutes of wisdom (and humor) that may change the way you see the world.
My learnings from the TED Talk and the message from Janet are that if you appreciate someone, take 2 minutes to TELL THEM! Don’t just think it. The gesture will bring both the recipient of your act and you a hit of oxytocin.
That’s just what I did this morning! I serendipitously came across a DRIVEN blog article from 2015. I referenced both Dorie Clark and Laura Vanderkam in this post about the importance of SPACE.
After I skimmed my younger self’s writing (yikes!), I sent Laura and Dorie a brief message. As I hit “send”, I felt that surge of energy, that inner smile, that sense of gratitude because I let people know how they impacted my life. And in that moment, I had another insight. The message I'd sent them is a potential threefor:
1. I felt great when I sent the message.
2. I bet each of them will feel appreciated as they read the piece.
3. If I hear from Dorie or Laura, the positive energy will come right back to me!
Have I inspired you to give this a try? Who will you email (or dare I say pick up the phone and call) to share your appreciation for what they do inadvertently?
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524