“More Must Be Better!”
Hi There,
The simple act of pondering how to mitigate stress can be stressful. That’s why a few of the topics covered in last week’s DRIVEN blog article about stress are in order.
The first is to get honest with yourself. If you’re a motivated professional, you know you can be overly demanding with your self-expectations. This mere mindset sets you up for failure. For example, some professionals say they want to “give 125%” or “agree” with something “one thousand percent!”. But wait! Even my bad math skills tell me a “whole” is 100%. How can one give more than that? And what inadvertently suffers by giving a measly 100% to your job?
If you’re scratching your head, consider David Sedaris’ “Four-Burner” analogy when contemplating what we as whole humans (as opposed to people who see work as the only dimension of life) must manage. What flames would you like to rekindle?
One of my clients (let’s call her Laurie), a self-proclaimed overachiever, took this sizzling visual to heart. After she thoughtfully performed a DRIVEN exercise called Imagine, not only was she motivated to incorporate time with family into her days, but she also dropped her false assumption that “more must be better”. Here’s what Laurie shared about her progress:
“I definitely still have my moments of stress, but I’ve noticed they aren’t as often or overwhelming. I’ve been putting my life into perspective and haven’t been working 12-16 hour days, 7 days a week. Unless there is an emergency, Sunday is our ‘family day’ and I try not to open my laptop. I also don’t feel as guilty saying, 'May I get back to you tomorrow' or asking for help.”
Sounds too good to be true? Well, it WAS difficult for her at the beginning, but thanks to self-compassion and prioritization of her big rocks, daily, she’s enjoying work and life more.
If you’re saying, “I can’t do that. I have too much else to do”, consider my colleague Nancy’s experience after giving birth to her first child. After maternity leave, Nancy became more effective at work, doing a full-time job in half the time. As she shared insights it became clear that her ability to prioritize strategically and create an environment where she was laser-focused allowed her to confidently leave work behind (mentally, too) to spend optimal time with her new baby.
So, I’m curious which resonates more deeply with you: having four burners on your “life stove” and getting to choose which ones you want on, or that work expands to the time allotted? If you’re like me, and live in the “and” world, consider how to leverage these strategies to result in more time to do what matters to you.
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
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