Tasting The Bitter and The Sweet
Hi There,
Have you heard about Susan Cain’s newly released masterpiece? The author responsible for outing introverts has just published Bittersweet— a book that gives us permission, and even encourages us, to embrace, lean into, and revere the emotionally ambivalent aspects of life.
As I listened to a Brene Brown interview where Cain shares the backstory of Bittersweet, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the synchronous nature of life. How is it possible that I’ve been marinating on how to manage Emotional Ambivalence since the middle of March and, three weeks later, this book emerges?
The book’s subtitle, How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, is a bitter pill to swallow. And yet, it elicited a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. That tug of melancholy, when allowed, is a beautiful aspect of life.
And now my Gemini comes out:
-Deborah the SEEKER: Why then, is melancholy an emotion I instinctively want to suppress?
-Deborah the Reasoner: Because I’m scared that it will weaken me, and I’ll get stuck in it.
-Deborah the SEEKER: But when I do go there, I feel a sense of peace and gratitude and sometimes even awe. So, what’s wrong with it?
-Deborah the Reasoner: Duh! It’s because you call yourself the ultimate optimist. So of course, you don’t want to wallow in sorrow.
-Deborah the SEEKER: Well, I believe that optimism and perpetual positivity can be defined as two different things.
-Deborah the Reasoner: Okay, that’s partially true; positivity to sugar coat or squash the difficulties of life doesn’t allow for full processing of the emotional cycle. Optimism, hopefulness and confidence about the future allow for perspective.
So, what lesson does this provide? Since Susan Cain defines Bittersweet as the “recognition that light and dark, joy and sorrow, will always co-exist”, my first thoughts were to surrender my relentless vigilance in trying to manage, mitigate and troubleshoot life’s caustic realities. On second thought, I can choose to simply breathe into them, feel them and accept them as the yin and yang of life.
This does not mean becoming careless or reckless, but rather, to leverage the tension between fear and excitement. Instead of “toughening up” or “grinning and bearing it’, I must move through difficulties with my eye on a better future, recognizing that (almost) nothing is absolute.
This gives me the emotional space to remember to not rush toward any outcome, but to instead remain in the present and taste both the bitter and the sweet. Together, they can yield a delicious result.
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524