Do You Experience Emotional Equilibrium?
Hi There,
I was fantasizing about eating in a “fresh market” fashion year-round while experimenting with my new vacuum food sealer. It was spellbinding to watch air become expunged from the vacuum bag holding fresh herbs.
At times, I feel just like that very bag. My mind’s eye illustrated instances when my emotional energy was preverbally extracted from my body in response to repairs at our new home.
Here’s a tame example to give you a neurochemical taste— a mere pebble of a “problem” as compared with some of the boulders we’re now trying to lift.
With our new home came many gifts from the previous owner. One leave-behind was a quality elliptical machine. As a former gym rat, I’ve racked up hundreds of miles on these gliders and now I had one right in my house! Yesssssss!
I hopped on during my first days in residence to see if the machine even worked. When all seemed okay, I felt a sense of relief. I could rest assured that inclement weather workouts were in my future.
The opportunity for my inaugural workout came in late September. But just as I began to stride, up came an error message. Hey, wait! How could this be?!
I soothed my electronically challenged self by saying, “Okay, Deborah, no need to panic. Unplug the machine, plug it back in and all will be fine.” But it wasn’t. The flywheel offered no resistance, and the error message returned.
After a third try, I found myself agitated. “How is this possible? Why is everything choosing NOW to fail? What else will go wrong?”
Upon reflection, I realized I was frustrated because I felt helpless. I don’t have all the resources necessary for these mechanical breakdowns. In the case of the elliptical, it wasn’t financial resources, but network resources.
My anxiety was temporarily assuaged when I called the manufacturer directly. A service professional walked me through a high-level diagnostic process. The result: It wasn’t going to be a quick fix. He would find a technician in my area and connect us.
But I couldn’t leave well enough alone. I went back and unplugged the connections as I had before, and sadly, I broke one. I then spiraled from frustration to shame in one easy step:
“How could I be so stupid?”
“Why can’t I leave well enough alone?”
“How much is it going to cost to fix this machine?”
As I tried to fully focus on work, my emotions continued to gravitate toward that elliptical shame cycle.
Well, it’s two weeks later and the machine is still not fixed. I surprised myself when this realization hit my consciousness with emotional neutrality. We HAVE made progress, but there is no closure— yet.
So why am I sharing this? I coach clients on how to get comfortable with uncertainty and messiness. And when there’s so much uncertainty (as the elliptical machine is only one malfunction I’m addressing), the imagined emotional tug can be fierce.
I invite you to use this illustration in the future. Perhaps you can zoom out and remember that while uncertainty may seem overwhelming in the moment, emotions do finally come into equilibrium.
Want to get a head start? Imagine yourself releasing your stress as you exhale from a deep and cleansing inhalation of breath.
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524