Closing The Stress Loop.
Hi There,
I’m still amused to have recently learned that October has been declared “Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month”. As a certified Conversational Intelligence® practitioner, I leverage the tenets of EQ to help clients “widen their lens” to create and maintain healthier relationships in work and in life EVERY month! But don’t get me wrong; I’m delighted there is at least some recognition of this important virtue.
You see, the biggest roadblock to practicing emotional intelligence is one’s own lack of self-awareness. Turns out, only 15% of us are self-aware. And lest you gloat about being in this minority, it’s most certainly NOT a constant state of being. We’re each distracted by the allure of rumination on our past and future. And when we’re not living in the present, self-awareness gets kicked aside.
Here’s a real example of slipping into a toxic state during a high-stakes phone call this summer. The night before, I nervously laid awake listening to the lashes of Tropical Storm Elsa. But I woke up relieved on this delightful “day after” to a still morning with sunny skies and a cleansed feel to the air. Phew! Power remained on and Wi-Fi was stable for my call, which began promptly at 11am.
Right on cue, at 11:02am, Wi-Fi and electricity failed! My stress level skyrocketed.
But alas, I was quickly saved. By 11:10am the utilities had been restored and I reconnected with my potential client. As we continued our introductions, I found myself robotic in my answers. I was stuck in the past, with thoughts of the power glitch and my response to it still circulating in my brain. I’d failed to close the stress loop.
Realizing I was not present, I thankfully knew how to get back there, fast. I asked the client if we had any wiggle room to extend our truncated 30-minute call. This is when I performed my cherished 3-breath meditation:
1. Focusing on that first breath transported me to the present.
2. The second breath gave me the space to label my emotional state, which in turn empowered me to close the stress loop.
3. The third breath helped me re-focus on what was most important in the moment.
Those three breaths positioned me to fully absorb information, ask my own questions, and connect deeply with the future client.
Do you find yourself thinking about the past and the future when the present would serve you better? Experiment with the 3-breath meditation and share with me the results.
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524