Practice Open-Minded Listening….
Hi There,
While a common theme on Thanksgiving is Gratitude, each household has its own customs. For some, the rituals are related to food like green bean casserole or candied yams with marshmallows. Others plan their day around the annual football faceoffs. Still others start with a morning Turkey Trot before settling in for their turkey dinner.
Often these traditions sprout from what our parents brought to their Thanksgiving tables, and we don’t even question the rituals— kind of like values. Many of us navigate life having adopted these family values, performing what has always been assumed. We go through the motions without questioning what we believe is expected of us. For others, a less conventional approach feels more natural, like offering a vegan feast and paying tribute to Native Peoples on Thanksgiving (sometimes causing friction among families at the holiday table).
This year, I invite you to inspire not only harmony at your holiday gathering, but to actually connect to your family in a whole new way. Consider becoming curious about the values that others at the table find important. Instead of discussing Adele’s new album or posturing about the NFL or struggling to avoid politics, wouldn’t it be a smart investment to better understand the personal character traits or intrinsic values of your guests?
You could begin by asking about what others’ top values are, and then for a story illustrating their importance. For example, my top values are Wisdom, Compassion and Resilience. If you asked me to share a story about when these values were applied (or were clearly missing), it’s guaranteed that you’d learn something compelling about me as a person. Another interesting question that could prompt a story is, “What values have you historically held that contradict your current thinking?”
People tend to judge others by the opinions they hold. “If your opinion is similar to mine, you’re OK. If it’s not, I’m placing a wall between us.” But when we listen to others’ values-based stories, we can stand under their realities, seeing the world through their eyes. Once people understand the “Why” behind a person’s “What”, an opportunity to truly hear them emerges. This is the most assured route to open-minded listening.
What questions will you ask this year? Both the listening and the understanding are things to truly be grateful for.
I wish you a lovely and story-filled Thanksgiving holiday!
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524